As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
