By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Pooping to opera.
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