hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
