"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
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