evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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