Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Hippo gnu deer
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
