This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
