none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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