dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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