I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
4 words: hood of his car
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
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