I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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