How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
