Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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