I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
