Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
