Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
he thought i was a dude.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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