So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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