Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
