It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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