You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
