my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
