so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
