it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize