Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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