btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
He is an equal opportunity slut.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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