worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
