im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Ambien. No doubt about it.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize