Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Randomize
