Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
