I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Sorry about my life...
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
