I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
what day is it and did you see me today?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
