wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Randomize
