Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize
