...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
So squirting runs in the family.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Randomize
