There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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