This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
