Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Randomize
