what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
