Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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