It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
