I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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