whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
