fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
