its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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