That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
