I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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