do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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