I wish I could teleport
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
In other news, I just burned my penis
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
