the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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