One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
