I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
