He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Randomize
