If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
