i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
whose ass print is on the piano?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
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