k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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