im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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