I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
