everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Randomize
