Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I've blown a few things in my day
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Randomize
