Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
His hands were made for my vagina.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
